in memory of a most beloved dog

it was may. i had almost completed the seventh grade. my hair was still naturally blonde and i owned many pairs of overalls, when my parents brought home a puppy on a friday night. it was a miniature red dachshund. however, unfortunately for that poor dog's sense of masculinity, my parents realized that they had got the wrong puppy--they'd wanted a girl and ended up with a boy. so after the breeder made a special trip to bring us the sex we wanted, we had two dogs. because after our bonding with the poor emasculated male, we couldn't give him up.

thus, dirk and diva became a permanent fixture of our family, the dachshund duo with the alliterated names. however, on friday, february 15th, diva passed away.

she was a neurotic little bandit, which made her a perfect fit for the scheidler clan. she was smart and wily. she learned to clank the food dishes when she was hungry. she chewed everything she could get her teeth on from blankets to books to coat sleeves (lately, i've been wearing the coat whose sleeve she mangled and thinking about what a little rascal she was.) she would lick your face until your skin fell off, if you'd let her. she loved us all so desperately. they would follow us anywhere. so many times diva waited with dirk as randi, seth or i sat playing inside a friend's house. when i trained for a marathon she and dirk and endeavored to run with me, as fast as their little feet would carry them, and coming home even more exhausted than me (two miles is a lot when your legs are only four inches long.)

it is so cheesy, but there's nothing like the crazily devoted, unconditional love of a dog to make you feel okay. it is insane how many times diva made me feel better about things by curling up with me.

last summer, i let her out of my mom's house to go about her business, and she didn't come back with dirk. i was frantic, calling animal control (they'd caught her before) and fretting over my irresponsibility. half of a day passed, until the couple that had bought the home the dogs had spent the majority of their lives in called. diva had traversed half of payson to go home. she was smart and persistent, and i imagine that she was longing for things to be the way they were before they got complicated and all of us kids grew up and tried to clear our way through the jungles of adulthood.

when diva was just a couple months old, she climbed up on my back while i was laying in bed. suddenly i felt this rather pleasant warmth spread across my back; however, the pleasantness dissipated when i realized the puppy was peeing on me. i high-tailed it to the shower, but ever since then, i have been wary of unexplained warmth--heated seats always get me worried.

oh man, diva. you will be so missed.

on the radio (maybe) and relics of broken marriage

i like to hobnob among the slc elite, and by the slc elite, i mean the nonprofit community. i attended a utah nonprofit networking social this evening, and it was a pretty classy event because they bought fancy crackers, cheese, and wine. (all events can be judged by the caliber of the cheeses they serve.) the event was hosted at krcl, a local, nonprofit radio station. i got to chat with "bad" brad wheeler, the drive-time deejay, and record a little spot in the studio. my bit went exactly like this, "this is roni from neighborhood house and you're listening to 90.9 fm krcl. community connections, music discovery." so, you could here the dulcet tones of my slightly lispy voice between native american tribal chants. (although, krcl plays more than tribal chants--i've heard laura marling played.)

i came home from my networking to find two packages under my doormat.

the greatest of the haul?

 yellow snap-in 45rpm adapters.

i can now play the bag of 45's that were played at my parents' wedding in 1988. for some reason, i find it particularly transcendent to listen to the tunes my parents selected while i was a six-month-old embryo. the songs are artifacts of a different time. a time that i can chalk up to being simpler, although it was surely rife with complexity as two young people prepared themselves to be stewards over the existence of an infant (me.) My mom was my age when she was married. My dad was a tender 19. this is incredibly cheesy to say, but listening to these songs three years after my parents' separation makes them so potent and not in an upsetting way. listening to belinda carlisle belt it and the soundtrack that patrick swayze did his dirty dancing to, makes me feel oddly hopeful and cognizant of all the crazy ups and downs of life. it makes me love life on this tuesday evening and so excited for the potential of the thousands of other evenings that are waiting for me.

i can eat cake off of a tupperware lid IF I WANT!

for those of you who are not aware, i am an adult. it is quite a thrilling realization to come upon.despite my love for sweatshirts printed with kittens and my propensity to eat cake for breakfast, i am no one's ward. anyway, as a surveyed my kingdom--all 450 feet of my studio apartment--i was basking in the insanity that is being a grown-up. not only am i an adult, but i have been a legal adult for more than six years! it seems like i should have something to show for that, like a couple of floor-crawlers with half of my dna, but i don't even have a pet (i can't handle the emotional investment of THAT so let's not even linger over the kid thing.)

so, i haven't found my life necessarily blog worthy. i have lived in the same apartment for 14 months now, worked the same job for 14 months now (well, i guess i did have a sort of promotion), blah, blah, blah. nonetheless, i really like reading everybody's blogs (especially when they get juicily personal), so i suppose i'll dump on you the news of my life.

1) i think i am developing a sinus infection. i do not really know what i sinus infection is, but i have heard of it spoken often. i assume it is like a cold that lingers in the top part of your nose and creates a mild pulsing headache in your temples, since that is what i feel and i am calling it a sinus infection.

2) i almost bought a bike on groundhog's day, but it was a day of thwarted impulses. (if they'd had a purple road bike, i may have been $500 poorer.)

3) i am going to new york city in two weeks to interview for a new york city teaching fellowship. i'm feeling weirdly complacent in salt lake city, like i could live here all of my days and be happy, but i figured there was nothing to lose but a couple hundred dollars by at least showing up for the interview and spending a weekend in the big city.

4) i cut my bangs in the bathroom of work with children's scissors. because I CAN!

5) i am trying to read some dostoevsky to enrich my mind, but it keeps putting me to sleep. so, in short, i am getting dumber, but i feel okay about that.

6) the guy who invented the etch-a-sketch passed away on February 1, 2013. i may need to buy myself an etch-a-sketch to honor andre casagne's memory.

that is all the news i am willing to share in blog form. thank you for your patronage.