it is silly how much they inspire me. and every time i watch i vow to be there next year. (i'm thinking original screenplay nominee. or documentary short. or on the arm of a celebrity (actually, scratch that, i would much rather be there of my own merit. i am not an arm-candy kind of girl, i don't think. it is the oscars, though...)).
however, this year, i am more antsy than ever. i think it is because i am not "where i want to be." i get mildly defensive every time a well-intentioned acquaintance inquires "so, what are you doing now?" because i am doing the same things i did when i was 17. it is like the last five years didn't happen, except that i have two pieces of paper saying i went to college collecting dust in a drawer. watching those little gold statues being bestowed to masters of cinema is not leaving me feeling inspired. instead, i feel a little bit like a failure.
so, i think i need to make some promises to myself. the promise to sacrifice security for fulfillment. the promise to make time to be creative. the promise to expand some of my ideas.
i have had a crazy penchant to move to new york the last week. however, i hate the notion that things are only happening in big cities. come on, we also create things here in the suburbs of the southwest, people. but maybe i will. maybe, i'll be impulsive and bold and be gone by next week. like i said, this year's academy awards is making me antsy.
and can i just say, i kind of consider james franco a nemesis. i want to go to more school than him and then stand on a pile of degrees and stick out my tongue at him. i find him stunningly attractive, sure, but i am also embarrassingly jealous of all the things he does. he makes me feel lazy.
well, i want you to know that when i think about our graduating class and the most "accomplished" people from it, i ALWAYS think of you first. so there.
ReplyDeleteyou'll do great things. i have no doubt.
come visit me in cedar city before you make your next worldly move.
Yes last I heard Mr. Franco is going to be a professor at Yale, right? With a Ph.D..... It's not right for someone to be so attractive AND smart, that bastard! Although I'm thinking that the only reason he seems SO attractive is the intelligence factor. Most hotties are barely literate! :) And I don't think you're a failure, I think you're going to do great things, you're still so young and I know you will go a long way.
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