I Made a Hat with My Hands

I've had a two year hat-making hiatus. However, during autumn of 2011, I spent many hours in front of the warm glow of the television with a crochet hook in my hand. That Christmas family members got crudely made beanies. Some of those hats turned out better than others. The one I made for my father was more suited to sheath a prize-winning watermelon than a human head. Hopefully, he just took it as an indication of how I perceive his cranial abilities. In Revolution-era America, they painted men of high esteem with ridiculously massive foreheads because having a large "brain-space" was suppose to be a sign of intellect.

Anyway, this morning I made myself remember how to crochet a hat. I told myself I wasn't allowed to shower or leave the apartment until I made a presentable product.

My first attempt was a mess of yarn. I kept thinking, "Maybe this will eventually mold into a hat shape."

 Then, I had an epiphany.

Gray blob is attempt #1

The epiphany was that I was basically doing everything wrong. And I can't even semantically explain was I was doing wrong because I know zero crocheting terminology.

In the end, I created something resembling a cap, and although it is definitely not the finest piece of hand-craftiness, I donned it to go into the city--after I took the shower I'd been withholding from myself.

Trivia: Beanies were originally called "watch caps" because they were worn by sailors during their "watch." Then those skateboarder types took to wearing them as a sartorial symbol of their subculture and started calling them beanies. According to the Oxford Dictionary, the etymology of the term beanie is uncertain, but they thing it could be a called that because apparently somewhere in the world "bean" is a slang term for head. And actually, the very first beanies originated in a village in Wales in the 12th century. I could actually tell you even more because I just spent an inordinate amount of time researching the history of the knit stocking cap.