craving community

i just dropped my first ever online class.

i was excited at the prospect of learning at my own pace and on my own schedule and fantasized about being on my laptop late at night learning about things like cultural hybridity and the model minority myth.

however, the reality of my first week of being an online student was very different. the pressure to be working on tedious (yet interesting) assignments was a constant, grating anxiety gnawing away at my sanity.

maybe i can blame that i have been on a six-year hiatus from post-secondary education.

but mostly i blame craving a community. there is definitely a convenience to being able to cover all the material and post your mandatory comments and responses to the discussion fora, but there is also a lacking. while i liked my online classmates and they had interesting ideas, not being able to respond in real time stifled the conversations.

basically, i wanted to drop the class from day one. however, i tried to convince myself that it was a lack of self-discipline and fear of doing hard things that was inciting my desire to quit the class, and while it would be incorrect to say those factors had no bearing, i longed for the classroom setting. even if i was just sitting quietly listening to overly talkative blowhards spout their ideas.

i am not against online classes forever. i hear for some subjects they can be really great--like math. however, for a heavily discussion and theory-laden class like Education for Multicultural and Special Populations, i want to see my professor and classmates once a week.