substitution

i've been eking out a bit of a subsistence as an educational mercenary.

i feel like i learn a lot about myself stepping into a new classroom. i'm fairly often overcome by a certain awe and excitement at the colorful--and usually outdated--posters on the wall, the artwork and compositions in the hallway, the lesson plan thoughtfully drafted by the full-time (and fully credentialed) teacher.

i've been lucky enough to substitute for a lot of music classes and the thrill of waving the baton to 4/4 time as middle schoolers find the notes on their rented instruments really gets to me. i've also had those tender moments when a fifth grader writes a little note to thank me for subbing and i think i could teach for real, as a career. i could.

but between those shining moments are those gut-wrenching moments of classroom management trying get kids to simply shut up without breaking their spirits or feeling like a tyrant. i have a pretty strong belief in letting human beings do what they want and letting the natural consequences take their course. granted, i'm willing to give advice (occasionally--okay, maybe frequently--unsolicited) but i like to think i do a good job at recognizing people's agency. however, you don't want someone's errant ways distract from a whole cadre of kids getting the knowledge they deserve.

you hear all the time that discipline and classroom management are the bane of any novice teacher and that the tricks come with experience and practice. but, man, getting a whole group of children to focus on completing a string of assignments and assessments over the course of a six hour day gets exhausting. though, to the credit of kids, most of them do great, and now as an adult whose gotten used to doing what i want when i want, i'm not sure i could maintain the focus that is generally required of them for the rigors of the school day.

though i will forever applaud the valiant soldiers in our public education system, i find myself more and more inclined to investigate those alternative education methods like those montessori and waldorf folks, for example.

i've also thought that any career i might have with kinderfolk might be more small group or one-on-one. again though, mad props to the teachers of this world working with whole squadrons of students every day.

hector

a dog had long been on our to do list.

if you were to analyze our search history the past few months, you would find an inordinate amount of dog breed related searches.

"shiba inu." "best moderate energy dogs." "smartest dogs." "english mastiff." "what type of dog will love me the most." "how to tell if you are ready for a dog." "top 10 cutest dogs." "pitball dachshund mix." you get the idea.

i would gleefully point out whenever a dachshund earned a top spot on dog breed rankings--which they tend to do a lot. they are sassy yet loyal, ridiculous yet adorable, little yet fierce. despite my knowing looks and elbow nudging every time the wiener dog's virtue was expounded upon by the writers of the internet, i still thought my dachshund-loving would be forever reserved for the rascally pups of my youth, Dirk and Diva, and we'd end up with some other breed (that i'm sure would've been equally loveable.)

however, when we finally moved into a dog friendly place and began routinely scanning the local animal adoption agencies dog listings, a little dude named hector caught both (or rather all four, as we each have two) of our eyes.

hector the long-haired miniature dachshund with a grand total of seven teeth.

the process went overwhelmingly fast. in the lazy hours of a sunday morning, i decided that we should just go for it and submit the application. by sunday afternoon, i got a call that they'd already called our references and landlord, that we were approved, and that we could meet hector the next day. after about a fifteen minute greeting in which hector nonchalantly acknowledged our presence while mingling with some other dachshund, we were signing papers and taking him home.

this is where it got rough. we know relatively little about hector's past but he's six and a half years old and was surrendered to the shelter by the owner of a puppy mill because the mill wouldn't pass a health inspection with hector because his mouth was in miserable shape. within days of being becoming a ward of the shelter, he had the bulk of his teeth removed (in addition to some of his manhood.) i can only imagine all of his fears and reservations about moving to another new place.

for the first few days he was terribly afraid of us. it sort of felt like we were holding a tiny hostage. on day two, we were really overwhelmed with it and had a tearful moment where we had to assess whether we could really do this. we gave ourselves a week. however, even the next day we had to admit we were in too deep, and he was our dog.

today marks two weeks of hector in our lives. since i am rather underemployed since we moved to fort collins, i am sort of a stay-at-home dogmom and we've gotten pretty attached. he's still got some ways to go, but i really believe we'll get there.

now as he lays curled up at my feet, i am reminded of jacob, who was reminiscing over our long discussions about what type of dog to get, leaning over and saying, "this is proof you win everything."